Okay, so Wolverine…er, sorry, X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE…was not that bad. Or perhaps my brain is still soiled with the splattery mess that was X-Men: The Last Stand (seriously: was watching the second movie last night and remembering that total fucking thrill I got when the Phoenix shadow shows up in the closing seconds. Yeah. RUINED).

But anyway, this one, it moves. It has a tiny Cyclops (also: a tiny FROSTLOPS, but let’s not hold that against it too much). Hugh Jackman is as snarly and sweaty and ferociously charismatic as ever. It’s…entertaining?

The only thing I found distractingly silly was the big parade o’ mutants approach — a pretty blatant attempt to test out new spin-off characters. Do you like this one? How about this one? No? Maybe THIS ONE.

The most likely spin-off candidate seems to be Deadpool, who may be the only character in the entire Marvelverse that I’m entirely neutral on. So…I guess that’s fine? I don’t really get the Ryan Reynolds thing, but obviously I am in the minority on that one.

Just no Gambit. Please.